Application Failures: My Experience

Daria Levina

Often the impression you get watching someone who's succeeded is that whatever it was, it was effortless. However, if you study their stories, you often find out that these people had had their fair share of failures.

I think it's incredibly important to talk about both successes and failures. In this post, I would like to share some of my failed applications.

Summer school in Regensburg

In my second year of university, I started learning German. The faculty of law of the Lomonosov Moscow State University had a joint 2-year program with the University of Regensburg, and I desperately wanted in. To graduate from the program, you had to attend lectures in German law taught by professors from Regensburg throughout the year. At the end of each year, you could go to a fully-funded month-long summer trip to the University of Regensburg. To participate in the summer trip, you had to attend the lectures, take a test (Klausur), and pass an interview in German.

The first year, I got in, and after a year of intensive German studies went to the summer school in Regensburg. I loved it and wanted more. However, the second time I did not get it. I spread myself too thin over other commitments, such as the Concours Charles-Rousseau and, and didn't get the needed score on the test.

At first, I spiraled into self-loathing: How could I not pass the test? Why am I so stupid?! Then, I got angry: How could they be so unfair to me?! Then, I decided that I did not care about their silly scholarship anyway.

I still wanted to go to Germany that summer, though. I did not have money for that, so I had to get creative. From a friend, I heard about volunteer programs in Europe and decided to try looking for one. I searched on the web and found four NGOs that facilitated volunteer programs between Russia and Germany. I emailed them all, got responses from two, and decided to go with one. They had a small registration fee, and I had to buy my own tickets, but the rest - the accommodation and the food - was taken care of by the receiving party.

And you know what? I had the best summer ever. I discovered a tiny student town called Ilmenau, where the volunteer program took place, made great friends, improved my spoken English and German, and did not pay a dime. In the end, not getting that scholarship to the University of Regensburg turned out to be fine.

Master of Laws (LLM) at Yale

Another rejection I'd like to talk about is from Yale Law School.

A few years ago, I applied for a master of laws in the US. I chose four universities, but my sights were set on Yale. Their LLM program was advertised as tailored specifically to applicants planning a transition to academia, and I thought it could be a perfect fit for me.

I worked on this application like hell. When I read the essays I submitted, I still wonder how I could write something so good back then. I don't think I'd be able to recreate it now. Only the admissions committee did not think so. I got an interview - something they usually don't do but did in my case. However, I did not get admission.

As you know, everything worked out in the end. Now I am happy to have been rejected by Yale - because I would have definitely gone there, due to their academic focus - and I doubt I would have been as happy there as I was at Harvard.

Other failed applications

Some of my other failed applications include:

  • Harvard Law School, SJD program
  • the University of Oxford, MJur
  • Columbia Law School, LLM
  • Semester at Sea program, position of the Global Studies Instructional Coordinator
  • PILnet public interest fellowship in New York
  • Fulbright scholarship for studies in the US
  • Chevening scholarship for studies in the UK
  • the Chancellor of Scotland postdoctoral fellowship
  • The Hague Academy summer school & scholarship (I got it on the 2nd try)
  • Philip C. Jessup moot court team (I got in on the 2nd try)
  • Max Planck Institute in Hamburg, scholarship for a research stay (I got it on the 2nd try)
  • the UNIDROIT scholarship for a research stay (I got it on the 2nd try)
  • Max Planck Institute in Luxembourg, scholarship for a research stay (applied twice)

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I guess the bottom line here is this: It's OK to fail. Everyone fails most of the time. And occasionally they succeed. Do whatever you need to do to process the failure - cry on a friend's shoulder, eat a bucket of ice-cream, watch your favorite movie, or go dancing - and when you are done, get back up and try again. It's worth it, I promise.

I hope the stories I told you will support you in whatever you are (or will be) going though). I'll leave you with a quote:

“It's not how many times you get knocked down that count, it's how many times you get back up.”

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