Why I Decided to Do a PhD and How I Managed to Enjoy It In the Process
A few years ago, I decided to start a full-time PhD at the European University Institute in Florence, Italy. For many people, it did not seem like an obvious choice. Why would someone quit a promising career in international arbitration and join academia?
In this post, I talk about five reasons for why I decided to do this and why for me, it was 100% worth it.
1. I wanted to get back control over my time
Before starting a PhD, I spent three years working for a law firm. I also worked for a year at the Permanent Court of Arbitration in The Hague. I loved it. The firm was medium-size, and I got to do a lot of substantive work right away. I learned a lot on the job, and it helped me crystallize my legal thinking in so many ways.
Simultaneously, I had to do things I did not choose for myself. You can of course say that I chose my job and the employer - and you'd be right - but I did not choose specific projects or tasks that I was working on. For the first few years, as I was gaining experience, it was fine. But as I grew older, I got tired of it. I did not like the idea of having to spend the best, most productive hours of my life doing the things I did not set out to do.
That changed as I started the PhD. As a PhD researcher, I controlled 100% of my time and activities. I got to decide what project I wanted to work on. I got to create my own schedule. I got to decide whether to work from home or from the library. I got to decide what to do, when to do it, and why. I still had multiple projects going on in my life, but most of them are there not because someone told me to work on them but rather because I chose to work on them. This felt incredibly liberating.
The substance of what I did during the PhD was very similar to what I had done before. I was still doing legal research, reading books and articles, and writing about it. The difference was that I got to do it on my own terms.
2. I wanted to get paid for thinking, reading, and writing about things I enjoyed
The PhD at the EUI is my second one. I had already earned a doctoral degree from the Lomonosov Moscow State University. The way you do doctorate in Russia, however, is different from doing a PhD in Europe or the US. In Russia, the PhD is an unpaid side-project you do in the time your have left from your full-time job and your other commitments. Well, technically I was receiving a monthly scholarship in the amount of about $40, but that did not even cover the cost of a monthly train ticket. I did my first PhD on a sheer enthusiasm, working in the evenings after my full-time job in a law firm.
I absolutely do not regret it, it's given me so much. But that's exactly why I can fully appreciate the value of doing a fully funded PhD at the EUI. The best thing about it was that I was getting paid for thinking and writing about stuff I myself chose and enjoyed. That was an enormous validation of the work I was doing. I honestly think it's pretty cool.
3. I liked the idea of moving to Italy to do a PhD
Doing a fully-funded PhD usually means that you move someplace different from where you've lived before, unless you live in a city that happens to host the PhD program with the required expertise in your domain. Generally, if you're an international scholar it's more common to move someplace else for a PhD than not.
The choices you'll have will differ significantly from field to field. For instance, I wanted to do my PhD in continental Europe, and the EUI offered one of the best programs for PhD in law in the EU. I applied, got in, and moved here. Before that, Italy was not on my radar, and I would not have moved there if it weren't for the PhD, but I'm very happy I did. I fell in love with the country, the language, and the Italian attitude to life.
Maybe for you doing a PhD would also mean moving to a place you really enjoy, whether it's something you've dreamed about for a long time or not.
4. I wanted to live more
During the PhD I had a lot of free time. Substantially more than when I worked full-time for someone else. Accordingly, I was able to pursue personal projects and hobbies a lot more than I could before. Essentially, I got to do more of the things that constitute living, at least the way I understand it - like reading, dancing, cooking, spending time with my favorite people. I had more time to think about things that mattered to me. I got to spend more time with people I loved. I generally got to live more.
To me, starting a PhD meant a higher quality of life overall, meaning having enough time to sleep, cook, read, meet with friends, do my research, exercise, and do all the other things I could not have possibly squeezed into my schedule before. And I liked it. I liked not having to use an alarm in the mornings. I liked being able to pursue my hobbies. I liked having time to read 60+ books per year for pleasure, not work. I liked not being attached to a single place. I liked living in a 15-min walk from the university and not having to waste hours on commute like I did before. I liked that I got to move from country to country. I liked getting social support and validation for doing things I enjoyed and considered important.
A lot things that I got to do during the PhD were self-development projects, like reading, learning languages, learning to draw, dancing salsa and afro.
5. I like being a student and thrive in academic settings
I've got to make a disclaimer here, which is that being a student is a bonus if you actually like being a student. Not everyone does. Not everyone thrives in academic settings. But I do. I personally enjoy being a student. I generally love universities and academics, that's my natural habitat. It's been an incredible means of upward social mobility for me that allowed to me create a life I could not have possibly dreamed about.
But that's going to be different for everyone. Only you can tell.
As a PhD researcher, I got to travel for research, doing funded research stays at places like the UNIDROIT Institute in Rome or the Max Planck Institute in Hamburg. I got to meet like-minded people. You got to go to conferences, take classes, participate in student activities and societies, and generally feel like a student. For me, it's has been definitely a plus.
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If you are thinking about doing a PhD, please keep in mind that there is no 'one size fits all'. What works for me might be very different from what works for you.